I tend to always worry about the worst possible outcome. OMG…how would I look? What would people think? I’d rather not. It might be really stupid.
I always talk myself out of things and it is very ridiculous and sad actually. It is so bad that my motivation and confidence to act solely depends on a third party guarantee or confirmation.
I have gradually grown with this and it has become a huge part. I worry about every detail. I guess I have somehow lost my confidence as a result, and it’s quite pathetic if you ask.
As a lover of God I’m meant to believe solely in God, trust that He would do absolutely everything. But I tend to always question Him. I mean, I get it that we all have our doubts from time to time. I mean we are humans after all! But not every time, that just shows how little faith you have.
I have definitely had the least faith in the world. It is definitely not intentional. I do believe in God. I do trust people and I do hope that things would go right. However, life gets difficult. These days I’m so worried that I get confused making decisions. I overgeneralize things and end up with a headache. Life is full of mishaps but we have to understand and trust, at least that’s what I always hear.
But it is a strength to trust, believe, and hope that this mountain can be lifted that freaks me out. But this attitude has put me in trouble countless times. My life is at a standstill because of my fear of the unfortunate tomorrow.
I have now gotten so lazy that I only start to work on certain actions when I’m certain of it being a sure thing.
But what is in life, a sure thing that is? You being able to read and understand this minute doesn't guarantee that you’ll be able to perform the same action a second later.
Life is tricky like that. I guess that's why the saying goes ‘life is all about risks.’
I heard somewhere that God often answers our prayers. He gives us the opportunity to act. Take a leap of faith. Sometimes you just have to get on with it. Do it. Be a bit rebellious!
When we find ourselves in difficult situations we’re always faced with a moment of the worst possible scenario. People commit suicide because of this. The taught of failing doesn’t go well with some of us and we end up losing it. I remember last year when I got my results. I was heart broken with the taught of life ending. I didn't know what it was I was going to do. Going to university was the norm. So not passing made me have horrible thoughts on my way back home.
Sometimes the decisions we make are often the wrong ones. But we have to learn from it. And sometimes we make them right and move on until we’re faced with another.